In roughly 5 hours, the year will come to a close here on the west coast. It hasn't been an easy year, but but it has been a year of significance.
In January I lost my beloved 12 year old cat, one half of the Panther Brothers, Hektar. He passed away in the cold night after escaping my attempts to keep him in the house so I could assess the need to take him to the vet. His brother, Inari, became more clingy and remained that way through the year, other than some strange adventures to a neighbor's house later in the Fall.
In March I shaved my head and then 3 of our cats were shot near our house. Sparkle and Kuro were both shot in the head and ended up losing their right eyes. Twitch was shot in the thigh. But our community and beyond came through for us and thousands of dollars were raised towards their vet care and our ability to care for them through the tragic ordeal.
In May I began a journey of trying to help a friend through mental illness that tried my patience, my health, and the resiliency of my family.
In June we took in two feral kittens, now named Amelie and Trouble, who were brought to us by a neighbor. We've grown rather attached to them and they've found their way into the hearts of almost all of the critters living here.
In July I joined forces with Lucid Dream Lounge Productions to help with the opening of the historic Palace Theater not far from our house. I also learned the hard way that I have epilepsy. A few things ended up pulling me away from the amazing work of the theater however...
In August my youngest child started 7th grade in a public charter school after nearly his whole life being spent homeschooled. He was very excited when it began but later we would learn that the semester would end with hard feelings from bullying, distance from his homeschooled buddies (his best friend also moved out of the state), and other learning interruptions of public schooling.
In October my divorce finally came to a close after over 4 years of struggling towards that end. But, we also said goodbye to my sweetie's beloved canine companion, Miss princess Biscuit. Many tears were shed and everyone here still misses her terribly.
In November I took part in the Pantheon Foundation's first online conference, which was devoted to Pagan Activism. I spoke on the Care and Feeding of Pagan Activists panel as a disability rights activist. It was a frightening and amazing experience all at once, but we made it through the tech issues and the conference was very successful. I am looking forward to participating again next year.
The end of November and all of December exploded into demonstrations, marches, riots, vigils in Oakland and Berkeley as well as across the nation and even around the world. Solidarity across the globe became visibly through the internet and I hit the street to reclaim my place in the world of social justice action. I learned to be the kind of ally I would want to have, following the lead of the east bay black community.
December ended with my 38th birthday, auditioning for and being cast in the Vagina Monologues for V-Day 2015, and some major shifts in my children's lives and futures.
The year also held the further decline of my physical health and many various medical tests.
So that's my year in a (kinda lengthy) nutshell.
Every year one of my friends from way back in my Fresno days (pre-motherhood) does something called One Hour. "Take at least one hour for yourself - your own agenda, your own desires, your plans and hopes, map the progress in your life you hope to make in 2015. Ask yourself the hard questions. Face your fears. Look ahead to being that person you most want to be - it's a new year."
This is my One Hour here with this blog post. (It has already taken me over an hour to get this far).
So what does 2015 hold for me? So much richness, love and intensity, no doubt. What better way to begin a new year of intention than to witness the vigil tomorrow for Oscar Grant at Fruitvale BART where he was shot, unarmed, on New Year's Eve 6 years ago. I stand committed to the end of police brutality and the police state. I will stand up for black lives, brown lives, red lives, disabled lives, queer lives, trans lives, all the lives of people who face oppression, if I am able to. I'm not afraid to shout in the street that black lives matter. I'm not afraid to stand up for the rights of sex workers, who now face the possibility of eviction in Oakland for merely the suspicion of being a sex worker. I will grow as a person, furthering my spiritual/magickal practice. I will grow as a mother, now of two teenagers.
In 2015 I will also marry my amazing sweetheart, Esa, who continues to teach me how to take care of myself, holds me to my own high standards as a parent, manifests with me our mutual dreams for the future, keeps me laughing, and helps me fill our lives with many critters to love & care for. Some days are just epic naps or endless restraining ourselves from hanging the kids by their toes, but I will take them all.
It's now been over two hours since I began writing this and only 3 hours remain of the year. The house is a flurry of laughter, music, play, barking, cats chasing each other, dinner being almost done (and Mom sitting here typing away saying "leave me alone, I'm writing!"). I haven't said everything I have in mind for 2015, my secret plans and dreams in process of manifestation, but I don't need to. I have spoken those words to myself, vowing to honor them to the one person I will always hold myself accountable to. In 2015 I will continue to become more truer to my Self, the me I want to be. Hopefully my whole family will find that trueness for themselves as well. Whatever happens, this man & these teenagers & all our critters will continue to hold the deepest and warmest spaces of my heart.
Come forth 2015. Come forth with love, justice, revolution and reverence.